i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
