return my video game
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize