i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
