I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
