we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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