Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
