You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
