I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
