brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
