Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
