If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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