I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
