So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
you never un-have a 4some
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
