You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
