i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He better not be in your backpack
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
