Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
