Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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