There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
