I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
