it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
