I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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