some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize