i don't like sucking hair
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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