i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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