When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I am available for nakedness
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
