so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
