i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
