Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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