4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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