You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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