Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
