in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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