Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I want to be your penis for a week.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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