trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
