I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
