so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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