I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
