he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
do herpes really smell.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
