so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
