I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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