I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She even gives head with a lisp.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
