sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
