You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
last night I used snow as a chaser
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