Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
