I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
