just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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