Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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