conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
That accounts for only three of the penises
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
