Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize