I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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