He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
sex in a hospital.. check
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
