went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
