Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
