have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize