she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We are all done wearing pants today
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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