She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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