Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
