Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
