So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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