I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
