Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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