This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just googled if crying burns calories
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
