Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
