Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
